Consumed by saturdayxiii
Sep 17, 2021 • 2 min read • #escitalopram #drugs #depression #anxiety #me #health #personal #update #thoughts

Escitalopram pt II

Okay. It’s been long enough for me to feel confident about my depression medicine experience. I’m so. So. Lucky. I’m just over 2 months in and I feel great. Like literally, if you asked me “how are you doing?” I could honestly say “I feel happy”. That’s never been the case, as far as I know. It’s been that way for at least 2 weeks now. It’s been a bit of a journey, so here’s a break down.

  • week 1: drowsy + insomia + poor apetite + can’t orgasm + salt and starch over power other tastes
  • week 2: drowsy + poor apetite + can’t orgasm
  • week 3: drowsy + lower sex drive
  • week 4: drowsy to the point that I suggest to my doctor that I can’t keep this up. He says try another month…ok.
  • week 5: I stop drinking diet sodas and start taking Seed probiotics Two days later I feel amazing.
  • week 6: No issues. I have some trouble getting up in the morning, but I always seem to have enough energy in the day.
  • week 7: Great. I need to figure out if this is the Escitalopram, or the seed pills, so I stop taking the seed pills.
  • week 8: Great, but i run out of escitalopram.
  • week 8.6: I still feel great. Not sleeping as deeply, but still lots of energy, maybe even better social performance than usual. I get my pescription refil.
  • week 9.2: Overly relaxed. I’m stretching a lot and trying not to sleep in, but I still feel great. I’m confident that my fasting from Seed pills and diet soda has done next to nothing compared to the escitalopram.

What a weird journey. My last walk in got a different Doctor. Even if I don’t pay attention to the name and voice over the phone, I can still tell because new doctors always ask if I’ve tried to kill myself lately. He said the typical protocol is to use the medication for 6 months, if effects have been positive, then stop… Sounds odd. I’m liking that I lasted 4 days without it, so maybe my chronic mental illness has a chance of correcting itself, long term, after 6 months of seratonin support?

Whatever, it’s so amazing to feel like I always thought I should be able to feel like. I’ll take what I can get for now. And I realize how super privledged I am to have things work out so easily. I don’t know what I would have done if I had to keep digging to find the right medication. Maybe one more time, maybe two more times, to what? Develop a habbit? I mean, it took me 11 years since my last therapist visit to actually get proper medication. It’s a hard sell, if you don’t know.

It sucks, but if you’re in that position, please keep fighting. I at least know that things that have always felt wrong do have the possibility of feeling right, so keep trying please.

Post by: saturdayxiii