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Okay. It’s been long enough for me to feel confident about my depression medicine experience. I’m so. So. Lucky. I’m just over 2 months in and I feel great. Like literally, if you asked me “how are you doing?” I could honestly say “I feel happy”. That’s never been the case, as far as I know. It’s been that way for at least 2 weeks now. It’s been a bit of a journey, so here’s a break down.

• week 1: drowsy + insomia + poor apetite + can’t orgasm + salt and starch over power other tastes
• week 2: drowsy + poor apetite + can’t orgasm
• week 3: drowsy + lower sex drive
• week 4: drowsy to the point that I suggest to my doctor that I can’t keep this up. He says try another month…ok.
• week 5: I stop drinking diet sodas and start taking Seed probiotics Two days later I feel amazing.
• week 6: No issues. I have some trouble getting up in the morning, but I always seem to have enough energy in the day.
• week 7: Great. I need to figure out if this is the Escitalopram, or the seed pills, so I stop taking the seed pills.
• week 8: Great, but i run out of escitalopram.
• week 8.6: I still feel great. Not sleeping as deeply, but still lots of energy, maybe even better social performance than usual. I get my pescription refil.
• week 9.2: Overly relaxed. I’m stretching a lot and trying not to sleep in, but I still feel great. I’m confident that my fasting from Seed pills and diet soda has done next to nothing compared to the escitalopram.

What a weird journey. My last walk in got a different Doctor. Even if I don’t pay attention to the name and voice over the phone, I can still tell because new doctors always ask if I’ve tried to kill myself lately. He said the typical protocol is to use the medication for 6 months, if effects have been positive, then stop… Sounds odd. I’m liking that I lasted 4 days without it, so maybe my chronic mental illness has a chance of correcting itself, long term, after 6 months of seratonin support?

Whatever, it’s so amazing to feel like I always thought I should be able to feel like. I’ll take what I can get for now. And I realize how super privledged I am to have things work out so easily. I don’t know what I would have done if I had to keep digging to find the right medication. Maybe one more time, maybe two more times, to what? Develop a habbit? I mean, it took me 11 years since my last therapist visit to actually get proper medication. It’s a hard sell, if you don’t know.

It sucks, but if you’re in that position, please keep fighting. I at least know that things that have always felt wrong do have the possibility of feeling right, so keep trying please.

Just some brainstorms of logo ideas for a friend representing the local scene at Furnest Fest.

Cucumber soda looks more fun than it tastes. Makes me feel like a begrudged adult. Lemon helps.

Yep. Brand New Cherry Flavor was great. Fantastic edition to the Channel Zero series.

I’ve seen criticisms of the ending, which aren’t wrong, but also kind of a given because Netflix needs to sequel bait. However, I personally didn’t find it very disatisfying, I can handle dropping a show at a clif hanger though.